Last month I met a friend and school mate of mine who I had not seen for many years, in fact, since I left school. We warmed toward each other while a gentleman looked at us in amusement; I knew at once that this is the lucky man!
When at last my friend remembered to introduce me to him, I was shocked! I only hope however that I didn’t look so. Because from the name, I knew at once my friend’s husband comes from the tribe she detested most in our school days! Perhaps it was to cover the apparent ‘words’ on my face, she quickly added after the introduction, “We’ll come and visit you,” and they hurried away unceremoniously leaving me gaping!
What fortune or misfortune, I thought! I didn’t really know whether to rejoice with my friend or not for her choice of a man. The only thing that came to my mind was the base words which my friend used for her present husband’s tribesmen many years ago. Somehow I longed to see her again, by herself, to hear from her what must be a long story!
The incidental meeting brought back some school days memory. Once, I remember, in our class, we took it in turns to write a short description of the man we’ll marry and we had descriptions such as, “Tall, not less than 6ft., light skinned, must be kind and sympathetic, etc,” and after each description, we ask the writer questions such as, “What of his profession? If he beats you, what would you do?”
It would be interesting to know how far the dreams of all of us come true!
Who, actually will a girl marry? This is a question which gives mothers some anxiety. There are cases where both parents disapprove of the girl or boy and eventually the marriage is successful. In many cases though, the parents’ feeling is justified and if the union turns out to be unsuccessful, the girl is usually too ashamed to call it off! She goes on enduring until her soul rebels!
Which girl can truly say she will marry? Many long courtships have ended in disappointments while many short courtships have led to successful marriages.
When a girl dreams of her “future partner,” she usually has a picture of the ideal man in her mind, and married life is a life of bliss, with no problems whatsoever, a home where she and her husband will live happily ever after! But your man may turn out to be a brute. Almost always the girl is to blame.
A man whose tongue is sugar-coated, or a man who is lazy, or does not care to apologize if he’s late for appointments is not likely to change when he marries you. On the other hand, the lover who shows respect, love and care for you and your people is likely to make a good husband.

Agnes Tinuola Ifaturoti is a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. She lives in her country home in Ilesa, Osun State, with servants because her six children all live away from home with their children and grandchildren. Her articles were written more than thirty years ago, but continue to be relevant to our contemporary times. Article published by permission from the author by Sinmisola Ogúnyinka, last daughter of the author.
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